When talking about happiness it sounds so vague and too general I think. Everyone’s idea of happiness are different from one to another. If I think deeper, it is so easy to think that we are happy, to say that ” Yes, I am happy that I got this, or I just bought that.” But is this really a real happiness you feel? Mmmmhhh….. I think it depends, everyone’s desire, satisfaction and point of view that will influence the happiness in life.
I asked may of my friends and relatives these days, “Are you happy?” Most of them replied me “No, not really.” So many problems we are dealing with these days, health problems, pandemic, business, money issues, work from home, school from home, feeling unsafe, etc.
Yes I admit these past few years we have been overwhelming with worries, unpredictable situation. Business is getting harder and harder, social issues, and many more. I always tell myself when I feel down, that in life there are two things, first one is things I can control and second is things I can’t control. Things I can control such as, working hard, planning for a better life, eat healthy, making decision, anything that I can do and I can think of. And things I can’t control such as, age, fate, when pandemic hit us hard and ruin the business, cheating spouse, anything that we got impacted with although we don’t do anything wrong.
If seeing this unprecedented situation, it makes us more and more worry. It is normal, we can’t see what’s going to happen exactly in the future we can just predict what is going to happen in the future. And every prediction can not guarantee it is likely to happen. These days has been filled with worries, but “Do you want to live more and more worry everyday?” or you want to live this life happier?
I know life is not that simple, I don’t judge people and I don’t say life is good, no problem as if I live in a perfect life too. But for me life is about enjoy every process whether I like it or not, I don’t want let all worries consume me, consume my life and happiness and do you know that most of the time what we are worried about, just happen in our mind. Not always, but mostly!
Okay, I tell myself, “Stop worrying and live a happier life!”
Do not overthinking
When having issues we tend to be overthinking, as we are human we can’t tell our brain not to think about the problem or let’s just skip this part, we can’t! But we also have to limit our mind since our brain is too smart it can’t stop working and it can wander everywhere. When we are facing one difficulties our brain often be too creative, the more you think about it the more you become overwhelm. So limit your mind, see the problem, make plan A, plan B to solve it, see it where it goes, then see the response then how to deal with it. Often things will be more simple if we simplify it, think about it is different from overthinking about it. Overthinking will lead you to a more stressful situation, your mind keep wandering everywhere think all the possibilities that might happen, the more you think the more possibilities come in your mind. It makes us more worry, more stressful without knowing that all that worries may or may not happen.
When I have problem and I keep overthinking every time, I always tell myself to stop. disadvantages that I feel from overthinking are too many, I can’t concentrate, more and more worry everyday, get so stressful, I can’t think clearly, I can’t feel joy and overall all things I worry about not always happen. So I better think of the solution and okay, stop there!
Practicing mindfulness has made a big impact in my life. I become calmer and less anxious. Practicing mindfulness can’t make all my problem away. But I can feel that there’s something inside me changed. I can be less anxious, I can sleep better, I can feel happier over small things, I appreciate more little things in life and turns out all these little things I can’t think of before, give me peace and a happier days.
Focus more on gratitude than material things
Yes we need money, we need money everyday, we need money to survive and I agree that we must earn money to have a good life because all things in this world that we need, need to be bought. I am a goal oriented person. What’s in my mind is achievement, goals, achievement, goals. I don’t like when things don’t get in my way, I always work hard to be successful, and in my mind is success, goal, achievement, repeat! Then one day I felt so tired, my mind was so tired I couldn’t think of anything, my body was too tired from all the activities. So I tried to sat back and relax, then it came to my mind, “what am I looking for? I’m so tired but after all these works, effort, achievement I am not that happy.” Then after some time I realized that there is one thing that I miss, gratitude. When I can be grateful for a very little thing, it really change my mind, my feeling. Be grateful for the good and bad things. Good things off course make me happy, but bad things that happen can make us into a better one some day. Because life is a process like it or not we must go through it, but when I have gratitude I can see bad things that happened as the process I must go through to be a better me. It is easier to talk about it that do it. But making gratitude into a habit will make your life happier.
I am not a perfect person, I have so many flaws and I don’t live in a fairytale life. I have been dealing with all the imperfectness, I was bullied, cheated on, but I learn how to let go and take all things as lesson in life, because I want to live a less worry happier life!